Is It True?

In "The Work," an extremely useful method of personal inquiry created by a woman named Byron Katie, you're invited to take a belief you have that's causing you distress and then ask questions about that belief.

The questions are (and I'm paraphrasing here with the words I usually use):

1.  Is it true?

2.  Can I absolutely know it's true?

3.  How do I feel when I believe that thought?

4.  Who would I be without the thought?

And then you "turn it around"--check to see if other, nearly opposite statements are equally true.

I've been thinking lately that I need to do "The Work" on my beliefs about the mayor in this whole library debate.  One of my big beliefs that has been causing me intense unhappiness is "He's not listening to us."

So is it true?  Can I know that for sure?  Well, um, no.

How do I feel when I believe it?  Helpless, angry, frustrated, hateful.

Who would I be without the thought?  I wouldn't worry quite so much about whether he's listening.  I'd think about what I can still do, what actions I can take, whether he listens or not.

And then the turnarounds?  Maybe he is listening but honestly thinks closing the library is the best option for the city.  He's listening but keeping the library open doesn't serve his agenda in some way.  

Am I listening to him when he says the library may be able to stay open, but it has to change dramatically for the city to keep funding it.  

No.  I don't like that answer, so I don't listen.  I bounce his ideas back at him without considering them--just like I accuse him of doing to us.

This doesn't mean I'm going to give up on keeping the library open as a library.  But it opens up a possibility for communicating that feels better to me.  One of the women involved in this effort, a minister with three kids, has said her challenge has been to figure out how to fight for the library while being true to her deeper intention to "stay in relationship with others and see their humanity."  I agree with her that's the real goal, and the only one that has a hope of creating real change. But it has been so hard for me to remember and put into action.

Yesterday the kids and I had a good, busy day.  We took the bus to my daughter's speech therapy because the car was in the shop.  Then we went to the Minnesota History Center, one of our favorite museums. We walked up the hill to the St. Paul Cathedral and wandered inside, marveling at the stained glass and the big statues of saints.  "It's so fancy!" my daughter said.  I felt great love for my city and its history and felt a deep sense of how vulnerable it all is in our current money-starved, contentious state of being.  Then we took the 21 A and the 84 buses home. 

I love that my kids already have had so much experience with public transit, not just here in St. Paul but also in San Francisco, Chicago, and St. Louis as well.  When I first started traveling on my own as a young woman, I remember public transit seemed really intimidating because I'd never used it as a kid.  I'm hoping that my kids will move through their future adventures with a little more ease because we've started them early riding city trains and buses.